THE NEW EQUESTAMENT: A MY LITTLE PONY ADAPTATION OF THE BIBLE
by mooserly
Summary: As fan of the hit Hasbro television show 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic', I have always noticed the strong parallels between the morals and messages of our favorite characters, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, or Pinkie Pie, and the teachings of the Bible of Christian theology. I am a raised Anglican and take the accuracy of this theological rendition seriously.
1. Ponysis 1

In the beginning, Princess Celestia created Equestria in all its glory and majesty. But Equestria was, at this time, without shape or form. So Princess Celestia did tap her hooves together and said, "Let there be light!" And at that moment, a brilliant rainbow shone over the plains of Equestria as a sign of the beauty of her creation. How this glorious rainbow heralded the becoming of Friendship and Magic across the lands of Equestria! Celestia was pleased.

In those first days the stone which forged the great mountain ranges of Equestria was formed: - to the north, the Crystal Mountains, with brilliant snow-capped peaks, and from it, a font of water that trailed from the ranges into a glorious sparkling waterfall: Neighagra Falls. To the east, the elms sprouted and formed plant life in the White Tail Woods. Princess Celestia did gaze upon all that she had created in those few days and neighed with hushed excitement, for what she had made was very good.


	2. Ponysis 2

In the centre of this creation was a great Garden that Celestia had planted at the site of Canterlot - the Garden of Eden. Here the flora and fauna inhabited a paradise on Equestria: early forms of griffons and dragons, beautiful flowering plants, many good things that were pleasing to the eye and free of Evil and Hatred, because they were plants, and not beings. And in the centre of this garden - the most foreboding and impressive of all life on Equestria yet: the apple tree of life, and the apple tree of knowledge of good and evil.

It is at this time that Celestia created the first of ponykind to inhabit this majestic place. Yes, Princess Celestia created Applejack to take care of this garden and enjoy its pleasures and fruits. Applejack savoured every fruit she could find in this wondrous place, and enjoyed it greatly, but felt quite lonely. The apples were no company in this place, and more than ever for the first time a pony did long to share a friendship with another.

So Celestia did put Applejack into a deep sleep, and severed one of her ribs from her unconscious body. But this was not a bad thing, as Celestia did then - as was endowed to her through the miracles of Pony Magic - heal Applejack's wound and create a new being, a new friend! Fluttershy would accompany Applejack, and whilst Applejack would take care of the many fruits of Eden, Fluttershy would take care of the creatures that inhabited this place.

But of this Celestia offered one condition: "Applejack, you and your companion, Fluttershy, may eat all the apples you want, but you must not eat the apple of Knowledge, or the apple of Good and Evil, for if you do, you will die."


	3. Ponysis 3

But of those creatures that lurked amongst the goodness of the Garden of Eden in Equestria, there were some that spun lies and hatred. Such were the servants of Discord - who, true to the unsubtle namesake of their master, sought only to bring disharmony and Bad Things to Equestria for Ponies, Unicorns, and Pegasi alike.

One of these servants was the Asp of Lies. Cunningly, he approached Applejack.

"Applejack, can you eat all the apples?"

This was met by some confusion on Applejack's part. "I am Applejack. You bet I can eat all these apples."

"But what about the Apple of Good and Evil? Or the Apple of Knowledge? Surely if Celestia imbued you with the ability to eat all the apples, she would not limit you to all but one, or two?"

Applejack grimaced at the notion, but could not divert her gaze from the ripe, juicy apple that the Asp of Lies directed his slimy appendage towards. "Go on, Applejack," said the Asp, "It is your destiny to eat all the apples. So too, must you eat this one."

Applejack could not help but resist undertaking such a challenge. Her hooves outstretched, she reached towards the tree of Knowledge, and the tree of Good and Evil, and procured a golden apple. Its taste was divine. What an epiphany Applejack had through inheriting the Knowledge of the world, and the Good and Evil within it! But this also was marked by a sudden, horrifying realisation - that neither Applejack, nor Fluttershy, had a Cutie Mark.

But Celestia oversaw this trangression, and was very angry, for the two ponies had not only been decieved, but broken the agreement that had kept their equine hides forever in the paradise of Eden. So did she say - "You have found that you require a cutie mark. This I give to you. But in inheriting knowledge of all Good and Evil against my wishes, I cannot grant you eternal life. I banish you, henceforth, from the Garden of Eden, and in turn from the apples from the Tree of Life. You will never be able to eat all the apples again."

And with this, both Applejack and Fluttershy were exiled from Eden, the place of beauty and eternal life, due to their transgression.


	4. Ponysis 4

In a world in which Friendship precedes considerations of Gender, and Narrative License precedes Theological Accuracy, it was made possible by the Grace of Celestia for Applejack and Fluttershy to produce two foals - "Son of Applejack", and "Son of Fluttershy".

Son of Applejack did tend to the flocks of sheep, and Son of Fluttershy did tend to the soils of Unicorn Range. So did they procure offerings to Celestia to appease her tempremental nature, but it was only Son of Applejack's offerings - big gobs of fat from slaughtered sheep - that brought Celestia any appeasement. This cast great jealousy over the mood of Son of Fluttershy.

So, one morning, as Son of Applejack was skinning sheep in the fields, Son of Fluttershy came to him and murdered him.

So did Celestia say "Son of Fluttershy! I have seen what you have done. I banish you with a curse that makes the soils of Equestria wither and acidify as you pass over it." But Son of Fluttershy did not know of the chemical properties of acid, so Celestia did have to also put a mark on him to prevent him from the sweet mercy of death. "You will be driven from the land, a battered and broken pony, for what you have done."

And so Son of Fluttershy did leave and tread the withered ground of Equestria for some time, and his travels brought a number of generations of early Ponykind to the world through the joys of equine reproduction. And these people did inherit the land of Equestria's Badlands, where now little but trouble stirs in the arid, dry wasteland that Son of Fluttershy once wandered as a nomad.


	5. Ponysis 5

The life of Applejack extended greatly, spanning a lineage that was forged through almost a millenia, and an excessive amount of copulation. Mehoofselah, the descendant seventh removed from Applejack, lived 969 years, greater than that of the first pony to inhabit Equestria herself. Mehoofselah had a grandson, Apple Bloom, who witnessed and responded to an event both untimely and necessary to the development of ponykind.


End file.
